Immediately after Jake* and I broke up, I started reading quotes as an alternative form of therapy. Through them, I discovered my faults in the relationship as well as Jake’s*. There were so many that resonated with me and so many more that I wanted to share with Jake*.
Often times, I was lost with words and couldn’t effectively convey to him how horrible he made me feel. He was a know-it-all who closed himself off when faced with a difference of opinion but it was his inability to accept criticism that caused the most frustration. Jake* had no problem pointing out all my faults but if I dared to slightly challenge his “angelic” character, his defensive nature ensued. In his eyes, he could do no wrong it was always me. And because I was so insecure, I believed him.
After spending an entire evening reading quotes on Pinterest, I began to wonder if my relationship could’ve been saved had I been able to recite the perfect quote during the heat of an argument. Was a Pinterest board all I needed to communicate with Jake*? I pondered that for quite some time until I read, “No relationship is perfect, it’s not a fairytale. There are going to be ups and downs, but if you love someone, then you fight for what you have. A real bond never ever breaks!” Is was at that moment I realized I needed actual therapy. My relationship with Jake* wasn’t as genuine and unconditional as I had psyched myself into believing and maybe he was right when he said, “you wasted five years of my life!” We, in many instances, had destroyed each other and only a professional was going to help me heal from that wake-up call.
*Name has been changed to protect the privacy of the individual.